In spite the fact that I'm a project member, Atmac makes all things for Lyre by oneself, and I think and as a partner and as a content consumer that he does an absolutely amazing job. If it were not for the quality of script and art, I would not have composed music for this. I'm proud to be in this project, and I will be interested to know what will happen next <3
Before giving any critique, I want to say that this is probably one of my favorite visual novels ever, and has some amazing potential. Alas, I want to give some critique due to the fact that I want this to be better. Art is really nice and cute, and visual element is pretty much perfect.
Now the writing is where I have a few nitpicks. There are some spelling mistakes, they don't distract from the story but I would like to see them ironed out at some point.
Pacing is weird, like how the first two days are more or less complete, and then the following week or so passes in a few sentences, there are some obvious time skips when the writer wants to progress things, which feel out of place. I would hope for smoother or more subtle transitions in the future.
Lyall is my precious cute wolfman, but he feels somewhat two-dimensional, with some clear inspiration being taken from characters of similar games like FBTW and Adastra. I am not saying that he is a boring or a cookie-cutter character, but I would love to see some more development to his personality in the future.
With all that being said, I want to reiterate that these two points are subjective, and others might disagree. My point is to give some critisism towards areas that I myself find lacking, and not to just say this for the sake of being mean.
Atmac, this is an amazing game, with more potential than the counterparts I compared it to. I really want to say that I appreciate what you have done so far, and I hope you will turn this into something amazing.
I'm glad you like it. I didn't take inspiration from any FVN characters when making Lyall though. I actually made Lyall before I even got into the FVN community and had been writing him for a while. Kinda harsh to call him two-dimensional when his story isn't even finished yet. Also, I have the whole timeline planned out and the pacing is the way it is for a reason. Time skips are essential in stories like this. I'm not going to cover every single day because some days are just not worth covering.
So with the galley being added, is it going to stay as all independent images of a scene or will you add scene collages? Taking the dream for example, Instead of all single images, they can be put together into one collage where you can just click next to see the next illustration? If they all stay independent, that's fine too, just a genuine question. Love the visual novel so far!
This is a pretty great game! I know a lot of people compare it to FBTW but I love the writing of this one way more, it feels like a much more natural progression between a captain wolf and a human. Ranok constantly nannying you and worrying about you even though he barely knows you while Lyall lets you be your own person and he grows to like your company and be more comfortable around you.
I was following this VN for the past few months. I actually liked it quite a bit. The rosy and blue setting is beautiful, the majority of the characters act rather dignified, sophisticated, dependable, and mature (which is something that many other VNs abandon, unfortunately), and the music is dope af.
I did not play the 1.6 update yet, but I have some questions and ideas.
Wouldn't the leaves in the backgrounds connect to each other via stems? It would make more sense than having them detached and floating in the air.
Why does Lyall sparkle? Artistic choice?
I think the bottom of the windows could be slightly lower. The outside should be more visible.
Will there be skating, sledding, maple syrup chocolate (idk if Lyall can have that) pumpkin spice latte, or other wintry things? I think it is more immersive to ease the reader into the weather and daily activities of the characters during winter, especially as a build-up to the ball. You are already doing a good job describing autumn from the previous update.
I am suspecting that the Winter Solstice Ball would end up like a Cinderella-like dance between Lyall and the human. Oh man, that would be amazing and so romantic. Would it have winter-themed stuff like red ribbons, snowflake cut-outs, Christmas trees or some unique winter tradition, etc.?
Are Lyall and the human virgins? I hope they are.
I know you are still building the plot, as well as the world, politics, conflicts, character developments, sprites and backgrounds, and more. As others have stated, take your time. Life and school take top priority.
This comment may not be appreciated, but I decided to write it anyway since I am in the same boat as those below me. I would appreciate a regular schedule instead of checking up on it every few days.
-
Suppose you want to make monthly releases like most other VNs. And you put in 5 hours of work every day for 23 or 24 days a month. You have about 115-120 hrs of work. You can assign categories like writing the VNs text, drawing background/sprite images, and then proof reading and fixing bugs. Then assign the number of hours to each. If you make sure youre always giving 75hrs of text time each month you can assume you will always get the same number of words coded in and ensuring readers have a consistent time reading each build. If you have the final text ready and chapters done you can average out the number of words per chapter and then assign working hours to get it done. If it is a longer chapter that is no big deal. You might be forced into using placeholder sprites and backgrounds but there will come a time to upload a smaller chapter (thats how averaging works) and the time you lost on images before can be made up now. As said, if you are done with the draft of the whole story and know what backgrounds/sprites you will need you can allot your remaining time in the month wisely so it ensures consistency with releases. Maybe you dont have 5 hours to spare every day but I am sure you can figure it out if your schedule is different. GL with it and sorry to assume you arent already very well organized.
The game is free and not a job. We can wait however long it takes, since the developer's real life always takes the priority. And the game is worth the wait.
Your "advice" is free, but not wanted, nor is it accurate. Your assumptions are down right terrible. You should have stopped right when you typed "This comment may not be appreciated".
Omg, don't even get me started on that pile of garbage, I wish there were another place where I could download the game instead of having to go through that itch.io page, but I guess I can deal with it since the game is definitely worth it
You're acting as if writing this VN is some sort of job, I'm fairly sure that the reason the writer decided to make this story was for fun. Implementing a schedule for a hobby project is totally unnecessary ESPECIALLY when it takes away from the fun of writing and adds pressure for no good reason.
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A great work and I'm looking forward to new updates! Thanks for the hard work.;D
Блин, почему русского комьюнити так мало (
Новелла класная, буду ждать 6 главы💚
In spite the fact that I'm a project member, Atmac makes all things for Lyre by oneself, and I think and as a partner and as a content consumer that he does an absolutely amazing job. If it were not for the quality of script and art, I would not have composed music for this. I'm proud to be in this project, and I will be interested to know what will happen next <3
<3
Rest Friend, know you will be missed.
Before giving any critique, I want to say that this is probably one of my favorite visual novels ever, and has some amazing potential. Alas, I want to give some critique due to the fact that I want this to be better. Art is really nice and cute, and visual element is pretty much perfect.
Now the writing is where I have a few nitpicks. There are some spelling mistakes, they don't distract from the story but I would like to see them ironed out at some point.
Pacing is weird, like how the first two days are more or less complete, and then the following week or so passes in a few sentences, there are some obvious time skips when the writer wants to progress things, which feel out of place. I would hope for smoother or more subtle transitions in the future.
Lyall is my precious cute wolfman, but he feels somewhat two-dimensional, with some clear inspiration being taken from characters of similar games like FBTW and Adastra. I am not saying that he is a boring or a cookie-cutter character, but I would love to see some more development to his personality in the future.
With all that being said, I want to reiterate that these two points are subjective, and others might disagree. My point is to give some critisism towards areas that I myself find lacking, and not to just say this for the sake of being mean.
Atmac, this is an amazing game, with more potential than the counterparts I compared it to. I really want to say that I appreciate what you have done so far, and I hope you will turn this into something amazing.
5 stars.
I'm glad you like it. I didn't take inspiration from any FVN characters when making Lyall though. I actually made Lyall before I even got into the FVN community and had been writing him for a while. Kinda harsh to call him two-dimensional when his story isn't even finished yet. Also, I have the whole timeline planned out and the pacing is the way it is for a reason. Time skips are essential in stories like this. I'm not going to cover every single day because some days are just not worth covering.
Been playing this since the first chapter. It just keeps getting better!
I'm glad you're enjoying the ride!
просто топ
Sorry, I don't speak Russian.
He said "it's awesome")
I'm really looking forward to what's upcoming next. The story is very intriguing! <3
===Tiny Spoiler for this update ahead===
So with the galley being added, is it going to stay as all independent images of a scene or will you add scene collages? Taking the dream for example, Instead of all single images, they can be put together into one collage where you can just click next to see the next illustration? If they all stay independent, that's fine too, just a genuine question. Love the visual novel so far!
I would like to try and do that at a later date.
This is Chapter 5 right? I'm gonna guess it's bugfix or typo correction.
This is a new chapter, not a bugfix or typo correction.
The plot thickens.....
every time i try to run the program it closes
can anyone help?
I have a problem, on mobile touch doesnt work so have to go on a pc
finally, a human furry VN protagonist that I don't want to throat punch.🗦 ^ω^ 🗧
HOLY FUCK THIS VN IS SO FUCKIN GOOD LIKE YES PLEASE KEEP THIS TOP TIER SHIT COMING!!
Alcohol, a great enemy or ally depending on the situation.
AYE AYE AYE YOW MC CHILL YO ASS DOWN IT HAS BEEN LIKE 2-3 DAYS AND YOU BE LIKE THIS:
IM LIKE WHATTT!?
It's actually been longer than that....
It's been longer than 2-3 days. Chapter 3 skips forward a week and so does chapter 4.
Oh... I didn't notice :O
Is there a NFW scene in the game
Yes, so far there has been one nude scene.
This is a pretty great game! I know a lot of people compare it to FBTW but I love the writing of this one way more, it feels like a much more natural progression between a captain wolf and a human. Ranok constantly nannying you and worrying about you even though he barely knows you while Lyall lets you be your own person and he grows to like your company and be more comfortable around you.
Looking forward to reading future updates :)
I love this and can't wait for more
looks softer and warmer, both attractive~
Im laughing at myself for how similar our names are lol. Especially when im narrating myself😆
Brilliant so Far! Well done!
Lyall got me thinking all kinds of ways *uwu*
John is cool but Lyall is best mans.
I was following this VN for the past few months. I actually liked it quite a bit. The rosy and blue setting is beautiful, the majority of the characters act rather dignified, sophisticated, dependable, and mature (which is something that many other VNs abandon, unfortunately), and the music is dope af.
I did not play the 1.6 update yet, but I have some questions and ideas.
Wouldn't the leaves in the backgrounds connect to each other via stems? It would make more sense than having them detached and floating in the air.
Why does Lyall sparkle? Artistic choice?
I think the bottom of the windows could be slightly lower. The outside should be more visible.
Will there be skating, sledding, maple syrup chocolate (idk if Lyall can have that) pumpkin spice latte, or other wintry things? I think it is more immersive to ease the reader into the weather and daily activities of the characters during winter, especially as a build-up to the ball. You are already doing a good job describing autumn from the previous update.
I am suspecting that the Winter Solstice Ball would end up like a Cinderella-like dance between Lyall and the human. Oh man, that would be amazing and so romantic. Would it have winter-themed stuff like red ribbons, snowflake cut-outs, Christmas trees or some unique winter tradition, etc.?
Are Lyall and the human virgins? I hope they are.
I know you are still building the plot, as well as the world, politics, conflicts, character developments, sprites and backgrounds, and more. As others have stated, take your time. Life and school take top priority.
Most of this is artistic choice. The leaves aren't floating, they're just stylized.
I also can't confirm your suspicions.
I have to stay true to the time period and themes. This is a fantasy world and winter is celebrated differently.
I don't know if I'm getting fairytale ball or red wedding vibes and I love it
oh no john's so cute... lyall might have a rival...
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TYPE THAT
Ima just add this to my small collection of 30 visual novels 😏
👀
I’m SOO Excited for the update 🌚🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️😆
gonna wait the 2 days for the update before i play :3
so happy about the update!
CAN'T WAIT!!
I haven't read through the last 3 updates and i forgor, is the MC a human or what?
(also the save screen tiles are so fucking cute)
Yes, the MC is a human.
I should probably figure out a way to clarify this in the description of the game, lol.
Apparently so 😂😂
He forgor 💀
💀
This comment may not be appreciated, but I decided to write it anyway since I am in the same boat as those below me. I would appreciate a regular schedule instead of checking up on it every few days.
-
Suppose you want to make monthly releases like most other VNs. And you put in 5 hours of work every day for 23 or 24 days a month. You have about 115-120 hrs of work. You can assign categories like writing the VNs text, drawing background/sprite images, and then proof reading and fixing bugs. Then assign the number of hours to each. If you make sure youre always giving 75hrs of text time each month you can assume you will always get the same number of words coded in and ensuring readers have a consistent time reading each build. If you have the final text ready and chapters done you can average out the number of words per chapter and then assign working hours to get it done. If it is a longer chapter that is no big deal. You might be forced into using placeholder sprites and backgrounds but there will come a time to upload a smaller chapter (thats how averaging works) and the time you lost on images before can be made up now. As said, if you are done with the draft of the whole story and know what backgrounds/sprites you will need you can allot your remaining time in the month wisely so it ensures consistency with releases. Maybe you dont have 5 hours to spare every day but I am sure you can figure it out if your schedule is different. GL with it and sorry to assume you arent already very well organized.
It's free, we can wait
Yeah and my advice was free too, but I get a lot of downvotes for it.
That may be because your advice is... what is the word? Oh yes, flawed.
Free and wanted aren't the same thing.
The game is free and not a job. We can wait however long it takes, since the developer's real life always takes the priority. And the game is worth the wait.
Your "advice" is free, but not wanted, nor is it accurate. Your assumptions are down right terrible. You should have stopped right when you typed "This comment may not be appreciated".
You should see what it's over in Far Beyond The World comments, it's horrible.
Omg, don't even get me started on that pile of garbage, I wish there were another place where I could download the game instead of having to go through that itch.io page, but I guess I can deal with it since the game is definitely worth it
You're acting as if writing this VN is some sort of job, I'm fairly sure that the reason the writer decided to make this story was for fun. Implementing a schedule for a hobby project is totally unnecessary ESPECIALLY when it takes away from the fun of writing and adds pressure for no good reason.
Exactly, thank you. Some people literally feel entitled to everything.
Played the game and its so adorable!! I liked the art style and story too, i can’t wait for another chapterr
Is there a confirmed date for the next update yet? If there isn't that's fine, I'm just curious.
Im not Shure, but i think we will get it this month, don't quote me on that though, i could be wrong